


Out of the closet

by Diddle_Riddle



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Alternative Universe - Civilians, Ed is a last year student in engineering, Established Relationship, Except that it's a life in the one things are going alright, Fluff and Humor, Humor, Jon is a Research Professor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-15
Updated: 2019-01-15
Packaged: 2019-10-10 16:23:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17429375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Diddle_Riddle/pseuds/Diddle_Riddle
Summary: Jonathan Crane's life had taken a perfect turn : he had a wonderful boyfriend, a great job, and he recently made a revolutionary discovery in both chemistry and psychiatry. Recognised, his researches actually met success and he will expose them to the public during an official conference.What he couldn't predict whatsoever, was the dramatic problem Edward made about the way he was supposed to dress to attend that congress. What was that supposed to mean, he "couldn't just look like himself"?!





	Out of the closet

Jonathan Crane watched with a very incredulous eye his boyfriend searching hysterically inside his wardrobe.

"Edward...", he tried again, mildly confused by the energy the younger man was using for what was, to his humble opinion, a very _simple_ task that would have taken less than one minute.

He was even more puzzled by the little frustrated comments the redhead produced here and there at the sight of the clothes, as if he was... lecturing them.

"What are you looking for, exactly?", he asked after a moment of watching his lover disappear into the, incidentally, quite _small_ closet. "A door to Narnia?"

This caught his attention, and he emerged from the armoire, disapproval written on his face.

"Not. Funny.", he let out through gritted teeth, vexed by Jonathan's smug smile.

"Not my point.", the professor retorted, grinning, and his partner shot him a death glare. "Anyway.", he took back, feeling like he spent already way too much time on the subject. "This _was not_ supposed to take so long, I told you I'm gonna wear the brown suit and it will go just fine."

Edward shook his head no, categorical.

"How can I say this without sounding offensive? Jon... hu..."

He thought about it approximatively two seconds before _shouting_ :

"Your clothes look like a damn _tasteless_ , blind grandfather's!"

Jonathan arched an eyebrow.

"What part of this is supposed to be... _not_ offensive?"

Ed only answered by an overdramatic sigh, as if he was dealing with someone speaking a totally _alien_ language, making any communication simply impossible despite their efforts. Then he clarified :

"You are going to a _congress_.", he said, emphazing on the word. "A very important one, actually _the_ most important one in your career so far. You are going to show your researches in chemistry, and may your recent discovery will lead to a _Nobel Prize_ if things are going alright!"

"Tell me something I don't know."

But even if he was a bit bored by the scene Edward was making, as often, out of _nowhere_ , he felt also very proud of this prospect his boyfriend just evoked. His researches in fear had been... the purpose of his all _life_. He started being interested by the subject when he was just a child. And now, as a thirty-two years old grown man whom worked on his theories since... forever, he made a revolutionary discovery about a specific use of fear in therapy.

All the university was behind him since then, given the success of his new researches. He even became a... sort of star inside the college. Such an unpredictable, yet lovely irony.

Next week, he was going to give an official conference, to show his discovery to a larger public than the university funding the scientific equipment inside the premises' laboratories. So everything was going just fine in his life. _Perfect_ even, since almost two years ago when he met Edward ; whom was now currently a twenty-four years old doctoral student in his last year of engineering. They were progressing... very slowly, in their relationship, given their own personal trust issues. But things _were_ evolving nonetheless, and for the _best_. They were both sincerely happy with the turn their life was taking. And since three weeks, he made the first _major_ discovery in science of his life.

Everything _was_ perfect.

Except that today, Edward decided to help him choose the most appropriate type of clothing to wear for next week's convention. As a result, they were both in Jon's bedroom, and Ed rummaged in his innocent closet as if he frantically had to find the bomb hidden somewhere.

"Eddie.", he tried more patiently. "Why are you..."

He emerged once again. Due to his present searching, his neatly combed orange hair were now tousled in a way that was truly both cute and funny to see. Then he told him, with an aubible _desperate_ undertone :

"A lot of people are gonna be there, Jon. Journalists, recognised scientists and psychiatrists, all coming to hear you speak! And there will be cameras, people taking pictures, TV reporters... It's a very big deal!"

"It's science in advanced chemistry.", he rectified, amused. "So even if, for the area, it will _indeed_ be something important, don't start thinking I'm suddenly becoming a Hollywood movie star."

Ed smiled at the idea.

"Hollywood or not, you _are_ going to be a star.", he countered. "And as your boyfriend and someone who deeply cares about you, I just _can't_ let your wear _anything_ coming from that closet at your conference."

Jonathan chuckled at the serious, almost _solemn_ tone of voice he used to pronounce this last sentence.

"Thanks for the concern.", he scoffed. "But I assure you, I am perfectly fine with wearing, as I planned, my _brown_ suit."

Seeing Edward's exaggeratedly _shocked_ face upon hearing this assertion, Jon understood they were not done yet debating over this.

"I can't let you do that!", he protested, sounding as genuinely concerned as if they were talking about a life or death situation. "I want you to look good, dashing even... It will be the first official introduction of the great _doctor Jonathan Crane_ in the world of reputed scientists! You have to be handsome, you can't just look like your usual self!"

Once more, Jon raised an eyebrow.

"Not my intent to ruin such a passionate declaration Edward, but that was kinda... vexing."

The readhead only waved of his right hand, as to get rid of this last comment.

"No, that was not.", he objected, before explaining very seriously: "What I meant here, is that _I_ am the only person so far who managed to see how _beautiful_ you are under these layers of cold attitudes, creepy smiles, that weird Southern accent, the nest you call hair and these terrible tastes in your dressing style."

"You definitely _are_ charming, today..."

"As ever, I am.", he confirmed, either choosing to let the sarcasm aside or, as it happened quite often too, not getting it.

What made Jon smile.

"However, these people who will take _pictures_.", he went on. "They won't have the occasion nor the time to go past all these aspects. Nevertheless _they_ are the ones who will give you your first _official_ face, this image you are gonna keep during all the beginning of this earned popularity. So you _have_ to make an impression. And that's why we are gonna play on your appearance."

"... Not my best asset.", he said quietly.

He was past any issues about his appearance since way back now; though he always was... surprised, every time Edward called him beautiful or told him compliments related not only to his wit and personality, but also to... the _way_ he was. Entirely.

As if he loved everything about him.

"Not your best as long as you are dressed with _this_.", the young man went on, missing the soft fondness that just filled the doctor's eyes as he looked at him.

And the ginger took the brown suit out of the closet.

"It's your only suit, and it's _velvet_ , Jon.", he said, pointing to the clothes as if they were outrageous. "Care to tell me _who_ wears vevlet suits nowadays?"

"... I suppose very few people.", he conceded. "I actually found this one in an antique store a few years ago, not in a clothing boutique. It's kinda original, the right size, and of a nice coloris. Needless to say, I instantly loved it."

From frustrated, Edward's gaze turned to _worried_ , and he quickly put the suit in the office chair nearby.

"If I knew it came from an _antique's_ , I wouldn't have touched it.", he reproached.

Jonathan just smiled.

"But there is more!", Ed pursued with despair. "Look at these _things_."

He grabbed pants, what were all old pieces of fabric in more or less good state, with visible sewing marks here and there, and threw them on the bed next to Jonathan. Whom sat on it when he understood the session will take longer than expected, and waited since then for Edward to finish his fight against his wardrobe.

"These are pants, Ed.", he stated. "They don't have to be... handsome or anything, their _only_ aim is to be at the appropriate size in order to be _worn_. That's it."

One furious glance later, he took an armful of shirts and threw them energetically on top of the pants.

"Not only do I disagree, but now look at _these_!"

"... Shirts.", Jonathan just answered. "These are perfectly common, what can you possibly have against them?"

"They are _mustard_ _yellow_ and _pumpkin orange_!", he exclaimed as if it was a fatality.

"Terrific.", Jonathan scoffed.

Then he took the sleeve of the, effectively, orange colored outfit on top of the pile, and commented :

"This one is actually the perfect match with your hair."

Edward huffed, and retorted :

"Except that on my hair this color looks ravishingly gorgeous, and being a ginger makes me a thousand times both cuter and more attractive than if I was born otherwise."

The professor didn't hold back a laugh at this.

"I can't even disagree. You do look adorable."

"And sexy.", he completed.

Jon rolled his eyes.

"And sexy.", he validated. "Whatever you want."

Edward seemed satisfied upon hearing this, as ever when he was being, even just a bit, _praised_. Such a boastful little thing., Jon couldn't help but note, as ever when this side of him was so apparent. But well, he was _his_  cute, funny, intelligent, amazing, skilled, hot and boastful little thing.

That's why he could make an effort to understand, among other areas, why his shirts' colors were such a problem for him.

"So, tell me why is orange synonym of perfection on you, but shocking on my clothes?"

"Because.", he responded firmly. "In modern days, a plain shirt has to be white, purple, grey, black, or eventually red. It can be green only if it matches with your eyes, that's why I wear green shirts better than anyone. Blue is fine as well, though this color works better on brunettes than on other types. So you could actually have blue shirts, even if these aren't my favorites. But _not_... this shape of yellow! I mean, originality is fine, and if you really want these colors, may we could pick a nice dark orange... why not.... But you _at least_ have to find something that doesn't look old, used and _overused_."

Jonathan sighed.

"I still don't get why such a discrimination of clothes color applies, but..."

"Because you wear brown pants and yellow or orange shirts.", he repeated as if the reason why that was an issue was obvious. "All of these are loose clothing in addition, what is out-of-date and seems to come from an old man's wardrobe... Then when you want to look fancy, you're taking a brown _velvet_ suit!"

"... I still don't see where the problem is. When _you_ 'want to look fancy' as you said, you wear a green suit and a bowler hat! What's the difference?!"

"The difference, my dear, is that _I_ wear things that make me look both special and _magnificent_. While _your_ take on distinctiveness makes you look like a grandpa or a slim scarecrow dressed with a large bag of potatoes."

"... Definitely not offensive.", he jeered.

But they shared a smile at this.

"And as if all that was not bad enough.", Edward continued afterwards, apparently decided to empty his closet. "You only have _one_ tie."

"Actually, it's a reversal tie.", he indicated. "It works on both sides, like a coin."

Ed turned it. Then all he could do was to glare at him.

"So depending on the mood, you can wear either... faded grey with red pattern looking like flowers in old wallpapers, or... light blue with pink grid pattern."

" 'Told you. I have two ties then."

"... In my opinion, that doesn't even make you one."

And he threw it on top of the bunch of loose shirts.

"Besides, not only is this tie odd and tasteless, none of its two faces match with the rest of your clothes."

"Since when are clothes supposed to _match_?", he asked, actually not getting it, and Edward shook his head.

"We have a lot of work to do...", he acknowledged.

A remark what left Jonathan completely indifferent.

"So, since the initial goal was to find an outfit for next week.", he rather said, standing up from the bed. "And you obviously want to choose something _else_ than my suit ; do you... hu... really want me to try _all_ these clothes now, to pick the most appropriate ones?"

"No, Jon.", he answered very seriously.

Then he put a supportive hand on his upper arm and added :

"I really want you to toss them in the garbage."

Jonathan's _done_ expression as a response made him laugh.

Then he took back, way to pleased with himself :

"But don't worry! I'm gonna help you looking good. From now on, I'm becoming your coach in ways of dressing, ways of combing your hair, how to walk to make an impression... In fact, I'm gonna teach you how to be perfect like me."

Then he shot another death glare at the clothes on the bed.

"And first thing : these have to _go_."

Jon was about to object that he had no other clothes, except for the Halloween costume he sewed for last year. Edward and him spent the night going trick or treats like children in the streets, during the 'special Halloween double date' Harley, Pamela and them organized. They had a lot of fun that night.

Then Jonathan suddenly understood _what_ getting rid of his clothes implied. His face turned into an expression of pure horror as he realized.

"Edward...", he said, unsure and trying to erase both the panic and the shock from his voice. "Please tell me you don't intend to..."

No, it couldn't be... Yet he had to ask, he had to make _sure_ this was not the idea his boyfriend had in mind :

"You are not trying to drag me along for _shopping_ , aren't you?!"

But Ed's broad grin answered for him before he confirmed :

"You definitely deserve that Nobel Prize, doctor Crane. Seeing how this sharp intellect of yours is able to... deduce things so _accurately_ and come to conclusions _that_ fast."

And Jonathan knew, seeing his expression, that _nothing_ he would do or say from now on could save him from having to go shopping with Edward.

 


End file.
